Are you facing a spiritual crisis? A storm? The loss of a loved one? Join us in this first recording in our series on grief as we walk together through the darkness and find the Light.
Tammy Toney-Butler walks us through the raw, real pain of losing her baby sister, Anita. As she processes the news, the moments when the phone calls come and go, and the fight that ensues to stay grounded in Christ and overcome the grief, despair, and cascade of emotions for a trauma survivor.
Listen in and check out the Grief Series on our YouTube Channel. Please like and share these episodes so we can empower many to overcome the darkness and be transformed by His marvelous Light.
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When the phone rings, the text message says call me now. Will you be ready?
Ready for the news? The immediate change in your daily routine? The hole left in your heart where once the promise of a restored relationship remained. You now realize it’s over. The death of the fairy tale ending you tell yourself over and over as you recreate the false narrative in your head of how the restoration of all things will go.
At that moment, you realize that the relationship, although brief, included only a few phone calls and text messages, was all they were capable of giving, and that was the restoration process of the fragmented pieces of the broken vessel left behind. Left behind after childhood rape, childhood adversity, parental neglect, physical abuse, or them caught in the throes of active addiction trying to binge their way to happiness. Although fleeting, it’s all they had to hold on to.
When you realize the pain of cutting yourself never truly takes the ache in your heart away for what once was, could have been, was never to be, or only a fantasy you dreamed up to protect your bubble of love you tried so hard not to have burst. It was not the love you deserved, but a love nevertheless. You long for it, crave it, but now, with that phone call, you know, the farce of the fantasy you created in your mind to survive is over.
What do you do then? When all hope is lost? Where do you turn? What will bring you joy and remove the pain, sorrow, and profound loss of finally realizing you came from a broken family, one shattered by trauma? In order for you to thrive, you must move past the raw, gaping wound of the past and step into the promises of today.
If you allow yourself to dwell in the past, the what could and should have been, you become stuck. Stuck in a cycle of abuse, generational trauma, and lack when God is calling you to an abundant, purpose-driven life.
It’s in you. It’s always been in you. It’s what the devil tried to kill inside of you when the darkness visited your door.
You have a choice: dwell in the hell of the past or let it go and step into the future.
It takes two feet to be in today—one to stand firm and one to step towards the abundant life waiting on you.
Choose life; choose to step towards the positive and not the negative.
Dwell in the Light. When those phone calls come, and they will come, you need to be anchored on the Rock of Light, Christ. You will draw strength from Him to weather every storm and be victorious in Him.
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